The Journey For Us

Deviations from the norm haven’t been a good idea around here for a couple of years now, but two examples yesterday and today have re-emphasized that for me.

Yesterday I had an online business meeting that ran past two hours. I was discussing the potential of working in greater depth with a writing client and we had a lot of ground to cover.

My housemate appeared to be fine with it, but ultimately called in a panic. My client was extremely gracious about bringing our discussion to an abrupt conclusion and I spent the rest of the evening trying to calm R. down.

In her mind, all my future interactions with this gentlemen would involve two-hour commitments and she was beside herself about how she would cope with that.

Today, her anxieties shifted to food. First, I gave her half-and-half instead of heavy whipping cream for her coffee. There was no sinister purpose. The store was simply out of the whipping cream.

I lost count of the number of times she complained that her coffee did not taste right and I responded with everything I said in the above paragraph. This continued well into the evening when she insisted the peas served for supper were "stringy."

The product is actually a pearled barley with carrots and snow peas included. While I acknowledge that fresh snow peas can have strings, these did not. In spite of this, R. sat at the table and methodically picked portions of half-masticated peas out of her mouth, building a disgusting pile on the edge of her plate.

Apparently at some point during the meal, my eyes fell on this pile and my face registered something less than approval. The next thing I know, she’s shrieking, "I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I can’t chew these awful vegetables."

Very calmly, I said. "You do not control either my facial expressions or my thoughts. I didn’t say a word. You’re looking for any hint of a slight and completely over-reacting. Now settle down."

Beyond being less than savory dinner table behavior, the business with the peas is emblematic of her consistent fault-finding. I am sick of it. Sick unto death of it, in fact. However, I didn’t say so and I refuse to be called to account for unspoken thoughts no matter how clearly betrayed by my expression.

Two things are clear to me after the last 36 hours. We have reached a point where absolute adherence to routine is more important than ever, as are repeated, spontaneous explanations on my point. And, we are set for another round of food-related acting out.

A good friend has passed along his incredibly tasty recipe for peanut butter. I’m going to make a batch in the next couple of days and keep it on hand. After eight years, I’m tired of these reindeer games. If she wants to act like a little kid about food, then she can eat little kid food.